I Am Teenager: Hear Me Roar!!

Who stole my huggable, lovable little boy and replaced him with this bellowing, belligerent, demanding teenager? I want answers and I want them now!

Welcome to the continuing saga of the cell phone. I am brave. I will not cave. I repeated this mantra last night as I watched my adorable little boy morph into this great boisterous lurching demon thing complete with horns and pointed tail.

I stood shocked as it grew larger and more ominous while pounding its chest and demanding I trade cell phones with it because the old cell phone it had to transfer back to couldn’t send texts when in roam. And it knew it wasn’t getting another new cell phone anytime soon.

It badgered me for an hour banging drumsticks on the floor, the coffee table, a can and the couch in its attempts to bend me to its will. My screaming for it to stop was to no avail. The noise it was making was deafening as the sound reverberated in my head. I would not acquiesce to its demands. And when that didn’t work it continuously asked “WHY?” hoping to make me throw up my hands in desperation and give it what it wanted. The constant barrage grated on my nerves and my head felt like it would explode. When that didn’t work either it threatened to rack up large cell phone bills because it couldn’t text and tried to have me cowering in guilt because those big bills would be my fault for not submitting to its demands.

I stood firm in my resolve, so this thing escalated its tormenting until I’d had enough and tried to banish it to its room. All this did was make it madder and it dug its hoofs firmly into the carpet and refused to move while hurling flaming “NO I WON’TS” at me.

At nine o’clock I went to bed exhausted from my experience with this thing that possessed my adorable child. Was there a way to exorcise this demon? Would I awaken and find this was just a nightmare? I slept fitfully tossing and turning all night long and dreamt of firmly planting my foot up his dad’s ass for his parenting-by-guilt days.



NOTE: The Super Nanny Site has a more detailed article for this kind of behavior. Basically, we parents/stepparents need to stand firm and this is easier said than done.

clipart from http://www.amazing-animations.com